(Scroll down for speaking and interview information.)
If you're interested in having me speak at your event — Yes, people sometimes ask. Weird. I know. — the answer is No. Just kidding, that would be rude to just write everyone off like that. I'll do it for $10,000.
If you'd like an interview with me, here are my answers:
- Definitely a Probably-Not on that one.
- I know what it means, but I can't ever spell it right.
- Not since 1993.
- If you ask nicely.
- It's fine, but it smells like Wisconsin.
- Four, maybe five. It's worth it, you know?
- Yes, they're real.
- My favorite? Probably the Magna Carta.